#i got too lazy to do a full render

[cinnamelle]

If I became the monster to everyone but us And made sure we got home again Who would care if we're unjust?

[xlocalkatzx]

I got SOOOO lazy while doing this.. I love these guys, but next time I have to do a fulling rendered drawing of them I am SHOOTING MYSELF

please ignore the Gacha life background in the background. When I said i got lazy…. I meant it

All of the pieces separately under the cut!

Swap belongs to the fandom

Dream belongs to jokublog

Ink belongs to comyet

I don’t know why but fulling editing that Gacha life background made me giggle a little too much xd

I NEED YOU WLL TO IGNORE HOW BAD SWAP’S ARMOR SHADING IS, PLEAAAASEEE I DIDNT KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING, PLEAAASEEE…

[targaryenluvs]

LITTLE OLD ME? / SAM WINCHESTER

PAIRINGS: Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: With the prospect of leaving you to find his father, Sam finds himself running out of time to tell you just how much you mean to him. But do you feel the same? And who’ll confess first?

WORDCOUNT: 2.6K Words

WARNINGS: Pining, jealousy, clueless Sam, teasing, confessions, angst, fluff, kisses, dual pov, arguments, THESE KIDS ARE CLUELESS!!! Lazy writing from me so I used the script

A/N: Set in season one! He’s too cute, he’s so cute I might just faint 😫 I’ll have some dark Sam soon don’t worry I always balance the scales 😋 Me… writing fluff?? unheard of! No Jess slander here too she’s your friend :P italics = flashbacks/thoughts/exaggerations HAHAH I ACCIDENTALLY ADDED MY NAME IN IM GOING TO KMS I’ve changed it now 🤣

AO3 Link

Gif not mine, credits to the owner!

Sam had first met you at a party.

A friend of his had dragged him along, claiming that the College experience was not just about studying. Sam didn’t want to be there, but he also didn’t want to disappoint him.

He ended up letting his friend disperse, interacting with the people he knew. Sam knew no one at this party, it consisted of another schools students and a few familiar faces. He nodded at a few but found himself standing in a corner and trying to choose which assignment he was going to finish off when he got to his place.

Which is when he saw you, with one of the biggest smiles on your faces. And Sam couldn’t help but smile along with you. It didn’t matter that he didn’t know what on Earth was so funny, he wanted to smile because you were. It seemed like everyone circled you.

Your friend had noticed him staring your way about a minute ago, but didn’t want to be wrong. So she kept moving you around and dragging you to new people. Lo and behold, his eyes followed. Based on her check, he seemed sweet. He didn’t stare at your ass or your chest, just your face. He laughed and smiled when you did.

He seemed to admiring, and she liked it. Sam’s friend, Mason, returned to the room with a girl on his arm. She watched as Sam side hugged him once he returned.

Mutual friend? Check!

“If you drag me anywhere else my arm is going to fall off Jess!” The party seemingly faded away as you made eye contact with him, god was he cute. His gorgeous brown eyes and hair were more than enough to render you tongue-tied. Sam looked like a deer in headlights as he stared at you, why were you in front of him?

Had he been staring too long?

“Mace! There you are.” The two of them exchanged pleasantries, “Oh, this is my friend Y/n. Mason, Y/n.” Mason reached his hand out to you as you smiled at him. Sam found himself holding his breath, your smile is even bigger now.

He wanted you to smile his way, “This here is Sam! Sam, Y/n.” Jess and Mason shared the same idea as the three others watched as you smiled, “It’s nice to meet you Sam, you can just call me Y/n/n.” He snapped out of his daze and shook your hand, hoping it wasn’t sweaty.

“Sam, I’m Sam. You know that, Mason told you. But uh, you can call me Sammy.” Masons eyebrows furrowed at the notion, he never called him Sammy. The girl on his arm tugged, “Let’s let these two get, acquainted.”

And that you did.

For the rest of the night, you may not have had as much to drink as the others, but you had one of the best nights of your life. You started off in the corner of the room, slowly getting to know eachother. The night led you outside, thumping music and shouts drowned out by the others presence.

Then somehow you ended up heading out for Ice Cream and then at the park. Sitting on swings and laughing at his awful jokes, you’d never felt more care-free. The night was full, and you were thankful.

He shone, if that made sense. Sam was a shot of espresso, and you were an addict. As cheesy as it sounds, you found him to bring color into your life. Your life wasn’t dreary and depressing, but it was boring. You found yourself going from class to your bed, the library, or working.

You had friends, yes, but not too many you could actually rely on if need be. That you trusted. And within one night, you found yourself pushing Sam to the top of that list.

Sam liked you from the get go, how could he not? With your infectious laughter and smile, kind eyes and understanding self. And you listened, with your whole body. You digested everything you heard and were full of empathy. He needed someone like you.

You’d been best friends since then, your first year of college. Best friends and undeniably in love with eachother. Not that the two of you ever noticed. It infuriated Jess and Mason to no end. The two of them saw it, every time you all hung out. The way Sam clung onto everything you said, as if it was Gospel.

The way your eyes practically glistened when he spoke or smiled. You looked up to eachother with so much emotion it hurt the soul. And the second the other was approached? All bets were off.

No man or woman in their mind continued to pursue you once they caught a glimpse of the huge, 6’5 giant behind you. Sometimes they’d keep going, but then he’d come up behind you with some stupid excuse to get you to go back to the table. And that person was left face to face with Sam and his unsettling smile, “You waiting for something?” A quick shake of the head and they were gone.

But it didn’t matter, whether or not you got together or not. You had eachothers backs at the end of the day, no matter what was going on. Even if you were fighting.

The night Sam’s life changed, you were drunk.

The two of you had an argument earlier on.

You ran your fingers through your hair as Sam followed you through the hallway of the apartment building, “Stop walking away from me!” You stopped in your tracks and turned to him, “Stop telling me what to do!”

“I’m not telling you what to do, I’m trying to keep you safe Y/n/n.” His voice was softer now, and it pissed you off. How on Earth were you supposed to be angry with him when he looked like that. And then the eyes? Ugh!

“It seems like you’re always babying me Sam! I can go out with who I want to.” He sighed, taking a step closer he held onto your hands, “I’m not babying you, again, I just want to keep you safe.” You pursed your lips before crossing your arms, “What’s wrong with Ben?”

He’s a vampire.

“Y/n, please.” He was pleading, but you didn’t care.

“No! I never get a clear answer from you. Why don’t you want me to go out with him?” Your voice quivered as you waited for his response. You noticed his jaw clench, you could tell he was keeping his answer under wraps.

Is it because you like me?

“I- I-,” The words wouldn’t form in his mouth and he couldn’t find a decent answer.

“Good one Sam. I’m leaving.”

He watched as you entered the elevator, guilty eyes unwilling to meet his. He sighed as his head hung low, hands stuffed into his pockets.

Sam had been invited to go out that night, he turned it down. Jess had let him know which club the two of you had gone to, and kept him updated on whereabouts. If you needed a ride and he was out, it would take him about thirty minutes to get to you from his party.

A lot can happen in thirty minutes.

His phone ringing drew him out of the light sleep that he’d fallen under, “Hello?” The sleep in his voice was evident to Jess, “Hey Sam. It’s Y/n time.” He scoffed at the term whilst chucking on a jacket and grabbing his keys, “I’ll be there in 10.”

You hadn’t wanted to see Sam, which was what you’d told Jess, repeatedly. Even if it was most definitely not true. Sam and Jess had successfully stuffed your unconscious self into your car, you’d had Jess pick you up after the argument.

He’d been carrying you to his bed when you’d stirred, “I’m sorry. F-for fighting with you. Ben’s a bitch.” Sam laughed at your crude language as he laid you down on the your side of the bed. You’d claimed it the second he’d invited you over to his new place. “Glad to hear it Y/n/‘.” Sam settled on his knees, removing your heels.

“Sweetheart?” Hair fell in front of your face as you turned to face him, “Mhm?” He moved it behind your ear, “You okay if I change you?” A half-assed thumbs up and a lopsided smile was all you could muster. He knew you wouldn’t mind anyways. You’d told him on multiple occasions that you’d murder him if he let you sleep in your makeup too.

“Could you ever be friends with me if I always had run down make up slobbered over me all the time?” You both sat in front of the TV, chowing down on pizza. “I thought that was your usual look?” The pillow you threw his way had begun a pillow war.

He removed your dress before picking out a shirt of yours and boxers. Since it was your favourite combo. Sam smiled at the notion of you practically swamped by his clothes. Using the makeup wipes you had stashed in the bathroom, he gently cleaned your face before settling in for the night. You quickly turned over to bury into the side of your personal furnace.

Sam’s eyes shot open at the sound, it was darker than before, later in the night. You being settled into his side checked off the possibility of you rattling around in the kitchen for a midnight snack. Quickly checking it out he was met with his brother Dean after a tussle.

“Whoa, easy, tiger.” Sam glared at Dean whilst trying to catch his breath, “Dean?” He laughed at Sam, “You scared the crap outta me!” Dean grinned, “That's 'cause you're out of practice.”

Whether he was offended or annoyed, Sam took the opportunity. He grabbed Dean’s hand and managed to turn him and they ended up on the floor.

Dean groaned, “Or not.” Dean tapped him twice where Sam was holding him. “Get off of me.” A small smile came across the youngest Winchester’s face as he rolled to his feet and pulled Dean up.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Brushing himself off he straightened up, “Well, I was looking for a beer.”

Dean placed his hands on Sam’s shoulders, shaking once, and letting go. Sam was understandably confused, “What the hell are you doing here?” The elder of the two relented, “Okay. All right. We gotta talk.”

“Uh, the phone?” Sam crossed his arms as Dean rolled his eyes, “If I'd'a called, would you have picked up?”

Fair point.

The murmurs and bumps were more than enough to wake you up. You made your way to the source before turning the light on. Cursing whatever Sam chose for you to wear, it was cold.

“Sammy?” Your voice was like honey to the two of them, Dean couldn’t help but look at you appreciatively whilst clocking onto the fact that you called him Sammy. The boxers, the bare legs and the cute tired look on your face.

Sam and Dean turned their heads in unison to the sweet voice, “Y/n/n. Hey. Dean, this is my gir— friend. Uh, best friend. Y/n.” Sam cringed internally at his words.

Your face was painted in confusion as your brain finally processed his words, “Wait, your brother Dean?”

You smiled as Sam nodded, you’d always wanted to meet him. Dean grinned at you and moved closer.

“Oh, I love the Smurfs. You know, I gotta tell you. You are completely out of my brother's league.” You stuttered at the prospect of being Sam’s girlfriend. But you weren’t in the mood to deny it unless he did.

“I—, we aren’t— ,” By a glimpse you could see Sam’s eyes staring straight into Dean’s head, “Alright, why don’t you back up a little Dean?” Sam spoke as Dean laughed, “Just let me put something on.” As you turned to go a voice stops you.

“No, no, no, I wouldn't dream of it. Seriously. Anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here, talk about some private family business. But, uh, nice meeting you.” You smiled at him, “Nice to meet you too Dean.”

“No.” Sam goes over to Y/n and put his arm around her, “No, whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of her. She’s my best friend.” That’s how you two were, touch was never weird for you two. It’s why you were always mistaken for a couple.

Dean sighs, “Okay.” He turns to look at them both straight on, “Um, Dad hasn’t been home in a few days.” Sam nodded along, “So he's working overtime on a Miller Time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later.”

Dean ducked his head and looked back up at the couple in front of him.

“Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days.”

Sam expression didn’t change as he nods along. Y/n glanced up at him with a frown, “You never told me your Dad still hunts.” Sam’s lips pressed into a tight smile, “Y/n/n, excuse us. We have to go outside.” You nodded at him, “Can I borrow you, really quickly?”

Dean nodded as Sam smiled, “Of course.” Sitting down on the bed as Sam sat next to you, “If your dad’s missing then are you going to go look for him?” He didn’t know yet, he didn’t even know the whole story yet. “It depends I guess. Where he last was and what Dean tells me.”

“But what about Monday?” Sam couldn’t help but smile, of course you were worried about things that weren’t yours. “I’ll be back in time, I swear Y/n/n.”

He glanced over at you, your hands were in your lap as you smiled, “I know you haven’t told me what your dad hunts. But, I’ve seen your old diary.” His eyes immediately widened, “Y/n—,”

“I believe it, don’t worry. How can I not? I’ve watched my fair share of horror films and Buffy. Plus, my mum always used to tell me to keep an open mind to everything.” Sam had to take a second to grasp everything that had tumbled out from between your lips, “Wait— you knew?”

Your giggles were prominent, until it blew out into a laugh attack, “You should see your face! Of course I knew!” His eyebrows twisted as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “I don’t— what?” You grabbed his hands and clutched onto to them, “Baby, come on. All the random facts you always have, that one time you kept talking about the inaccuracies about Vampires. And then today,”

Sam’s face looked as if it had been drained or color, “If this is about—,”

“You sent an article that morning about Vampires and how they should actually be beheaded. And then a random story about them getting close to people abnormally quick. Which is exactly what happened with Ben. I got mad at you because I couldn’t figure out why you wouldn’t just tell me.”

Sam sighed, “Well you can’t blame me for being cautious. And most people don’t handle the whole, ‘Ghosts are real’ bit that easily.”

“Well I’m not most people Sammy.”

“No, no you’re not. You’re better, you always have been Y/n.” The air in the room had apparently been drained, since you couldn’t breathe. Not with those gorgeous eyes staring down at you.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“If you’re not about to kiss me I give this interaction a minus 0 out of 10.” Sam scoffed, “So you’re rating me now?” You jokingly nodded as his hand was placed on your cheek before kissing you.

And God was it worth the wait.

As you pulled away you couldn’t believe you finally had him.

“100/10.”

“What an honour.”

You couldn’t help yourself as you kissed the tip of his nose, “Anything for something as cute as you.”

“Who, little old me?”

[starryeyedstray]

connorkus wishing you a very happy 2025~! my art ramblings below the cut as per usual

so my goal was to finish this drawing before the end of jan 1st in my time zone and ehehe that certainly did NOT happen. it's like 10am jan 2nd here ahahahah. but hey it's still jan 1st somewhere!!!!

i spent like 15+ hours on this piece and like 70% of that time was redrawing markus. i swear i have the hardest time drawing that guy. i miss drawing ladies. i used to them all the time. maybe that's why i got north down in one try. connor took like three tries. and then markus... i went through like 8 renditions of him. i hope he turned out okay. i've been staring at this piece for so long i've lost all objectivity.

y'all it really is a new year because i actually put my clean line art in a separate layer instead of what i normally do and spend an abnormally long time cleaning up my rough sketch. this led to veryyyyyy thin line art which it is not my usual style. i think it turned out okay??? i think in future pieces might change up the line weight cause i love my tapers but i was just too lazy to rethicken all the lines on the clean line art layer jskdfjksdjfkdsjfl.

i wasn't planning on doing a full colored piece because of the time constraints but i decided to put in some matte colors cause i wanted them to be color coordinated and i was like oh it looks a bit weird and flat maybe i'll render just a litt-- oops i rendered the whole thing ehehehe. tbh, i'm still trying to figure how i want to render and color things. i feel like i always like the plain lineart more than the colored version. i think that will be a goal for this year is figuring out how to color. right now like 50% satisfied with the how i render so hoping to get it closer to 100% by year's end.

btw, no one is allowed to compliment my fabric textures bc i literally cheated cause i just got a picture of fabric texture, set the layer to grain merge, and then added highlights. i was not gonna render out norths sparkly dress by hand that's for fucking sure lmao.

also, idk what cosmic void they're standing in. i just wanted a really soft glowy background without having to render out anything detailed. so uhm let's just pretend that they're standing in front of some sort of light display.

for listening to my ramblings enjoy these rough sketch layers~

happy new year <333

[sleepynegress]

So, I'm Watching Dollar Tree The Gilded Age: The Buccaneers (I apologize that this is a long one folks because of ADHD Romantic Period Drama w/ ~Color~ tangents)...

Okay... So, I have to preface this by admitting that Bridgerton never has been my great big thing. It's a cake sculpted from cotton candy.

Pretty and sweet, but not much substance. And very much leaning on the "fantasy" so everyone can enjoy the costume romance fun (but it does please me to see my marginalized players, playing well...). -Using an author's works as a base, who not only started with an all-white palette but was flippant and insulting in response to the idea of inclusion... And yet...

I'm just saying, it is something that the woman who walked away from ABC because an exec didn't respect her enough to get a Disney pass for her family, went on to make that lucrative author's uplift deal with, instead of say, Beverly Jenkins. I love underdog romances that aren't the typical het white bread. Give me the canon gays (I never got slash...but I love when it's canon, especially with color), the big girls, the dark brown skin girls, the Black couples, and the interracials, especially when both are BIPOC and there's no lag in charm/looks in the lighter half in some expertly lit, dressed, confection that makes everyone look as gorgeous as they actually are and there's all kinds of soft plotting and chemistry. Bridgerton for all its lazy ways of handling color, gave that. Everybody is hot. And the people that studios have typically just pretended either weren't "invented" yet or were all living horrible tortured lives of enslavement got to get the sweet costumed wooing, will-they-won't-they, ~romance~ treatment. But... being an obscure Black history nerd... I'm neurodivergent, so I have some deep-dive GEMS that I'll mention here that I NEED TO SEE DONE WELL, before I die. FYI I called Dido Elizabeth Belle a good 8 years before that was actually made. It is frustrating to see some of the ACTUAL interesting capacities in which some actual existing Black folks in history who did live interesting, not tragic lives, not given the big glossy budget, well-written renderings they deserve... In lieu of what has now, firmly taken hold as a trend, colorblind casting in known white works. See recent adaptations of David Copperfield, Persuasion, Tom Jones, & Great Expectations,

and now, this The Buccaneers (which like I said, is Dollar Tree, and *worse* the colorblind cast sister Conchita is using her regular-eggular Cali accent and...is not a compelling actress & her man is a jar of mayo) and baby...them costumes are Reign-levels of anachronistic/bad. It's the lazy jump onto the trend Shonda exploded, and Mr. Malcolm's List started (yeah, that short film was put on YouTube a full year before Bridgerton debuted). So, my point... Instead of *just* doing colorblind casting in old classic white period works... I need to see these ACTUAL GREAT stories of and/or written by or about the colorful people who lived in those societies. And this is where it could get long... but I'll do my best to keep it short... EXAMPLES that were gotten right and those *I need to see adapted*: ____

Interview With The Vampire is inclusive color-AWARE casting... The showrunner went beyond and actually rewrote the narrative to make sure the inclusion wasn't lazily done, but actually improved the depth of the source IMO. And I believe the showrunner is a queer white man. It just takes empathy and effort.

Passing... is a moody slow-burn horror based upon an actual work written by a Black woman in that period, and adapted by a white-passing WOC who not only lived the theme, but rendered it expertly.

Belle is often pointed to as a good example, but my nerd-ass knows Gugu's beyond AMAZING handling of the material elevated it.

Too much was changed from the reality of her life (IMO), still...Most period dramas are about as "true" and yall know I was not a fan of Sam Reid's over-dramatic ass in this... (yelling in that damn carriage for what?!) but he is PERFECT in IWTV. Sanditon being made, despite the typical side-character Black character issues...really was a reset because Miss Austen had already envisioned, in her day and above her class(!) a Black heiress as a character getting the Austen treatment, w/o any modifications the salty and ignorant would prefer to think is beyond "true history". ----- I have a little hopeful part in my brain that wishes it had the power to will capable adaptions of the lives of Carlotta Stewart Lai - middle-class educated Black woman who became a teacher & lived an "Anne of Green Gables" type of Edwardian life (more interesting really) surfing, having "bathing parties," and teaching Hawaiians with her Black family, Portuguese, Hawaiian and Chinese friends on the big island... Her life was w/o the stereotypes people assume all Black Americans lived in Victorian/Edwardian "America".

Gustav Badin, a Black man who was "Chessmaster" of the Swedish Royal Court in the 1700's...was in charge of the Royal family's secrets after the Queen's passing, really gives me intelligent queer Black man energy in his portrait and lived out a non-tragic life in a VERY white space many don't know we occupied.

And The Hunters... Who already have a short film and I've posted about it here... but I would LOVE to see an actual rendering of their lives in the Klondike, with their gold and silver prospects and son grandson Buster and daughter Teslin in Edwardian Canada.

(that is Teslin at the highest point in the photo, named after the lake she was born at)

(and the Hunters' grandson Buster ice-fishing)

All this to say... Now, that I've thoroughly veered away from my review of a middling show... I WISH THESE DAMN SHOWRUNNERS used a little effort in research and imagination and gave us more "true to life" renderings of Black life (and life of color, in these romanticized spaces) that isn't tragic nor the patronizin inclusive "fantasy"... That feels like it's smirking at me while saying "we know you weren't ~really~ here, but here! have a cookie!!" These people existed.

You don't have to *just* make inclusive versions of white works with the lie that you have to do that because thee above people ~didn't exist~. Nor do you have to be lazy when you do!! (see: IWTV) Right now, for me... It feels like for the most part we're in a period of very shallow "advancement" in period rep. And I'm saying if little old me can find the actual stories that could make AMAZING true history-based media. Why can't the more powerful people do the same?? P.S.

You already know I'm fresh off being mad about that shitty Bass Reeves show...but I'm even madder because I can't even say, "just make sure its made by Black people," because Jeymes Samuel (AKA Bullitts) gave us skinny biracial StageCoach Mary!!!

---NO!! I will never stop being mad about it!!

DO BETTER!! Have the empathy and care for the material, regardless, and don't rest on "I know what I'm doing because I'm Black" That male gaze won out over truth in The Harder They Fall *smh*

P.P.S I get the feeling the lazy adaptions are about cash-grabbing, what they see as a trend, and being all the ready to jump back into the whitewashed business as usual, that ain't true to *all* actual histories nor (as Austen proved) fictions of those eras or spaces.

P.P.P.S. On The Glided Age!! I do love that the Fellowes drama has Erica Armstrong Dunbar (known for her book and research on Ona Judge -another figure whose story needs to be adapted!!!- the Black woman who successfully escaped enslavement from George Washington's household and was doggedly pursued by him throughout her life) and Salli Richardson-Whitfield as producers... so, Denee Benton's Peggy is authentic... but as much as I like The Gilded Age, I want to combine Fellowes comfort drama... with a CENTRALIZED Black character... Why can't someone do all of it correctly?? WHY??!!!

[yeehawpim]

What's your process in making comics

And how do you make something so good with such a simple art style!? 🥺

(if this has been asked before could you send a link to the post?)

Alright so ive been sitting on this ask b/c I already know it's a long answer aflskdjf

Write dialogue/text down in my notes app Sometimes it's just me sitting there like hghghg as music plays and I stare at my phone for 10min. Usually it's 12am thinking about stuff while I'm in bed and I type some piece of dialogue down real quick. I'm nowhere near as comprehensive as comic script I've seen online that they give examples for, like there's no direction on what's happening in panels or anyth because it's just for myself and I just sort of remember composition ideas if I have them on the spot

Literally start drawing 😂 As previously said I sometimes go into comics with comp ideas already, like for this one I knew I was going to divide the page going in. Or like I know this is gonna be 4 panels and pretty static. Other stuff I fully wing it sentence to sentence because I can't bother with thumbnailing 😅 sometimes this bites me on the ass because I spend forever drawing smth I have to toss, but I've gotten better at doing stuff fast

I use photoshop, so for vertical comics I've been following this tutorial for years

Vertical comics are a lot easier to structure composition-wise for me, I started out making those because it was less intimidating

The red arrow is your eye direction as you read it. For me it's always the bottom of a page is one less boundary to worry about. You can be less precise if the reader is automatically drawn to looking down b/c they're scrolling and never sees a full page laid out. 😂 Also if I want to pace something slower/further down I don't have to worry about having to cram it in y'know?

This might be a weirdly specific thing to mention but I'm always thinking about it when I make comics because...

lol I gotta make up for being too lazy to spend more than 30 seconds drawing a character

jkjk but yeah my interests are more in slapping the story in my head on the page. I like doing compositions and writing stuff that interests me. I get tired when I spend too much time fiddling with stuff, so if I can get smth across with a rough estimation I'm happy. This does limit the type of stories that can be told cuz certain more rendered styles just work better when you're trying to convey certain things but! there's lots of things you can do drawing simply too!

there's defs more stuff out there that doesn't follow what I'm doing, lots of different styles. Eg American superhero comics are super text-heavy and boggle my mind. This is just what I like to do cuz I like reading way too much manga/webtoons lol

you don't have to be super technical to make comics! go out there and make one if you've got an idea!

if you want to of course haha

hope this explains my process a little (thank you for the compliment it means a lot 🤠🙏)

[seat-safety-switch]

Kids these days may not think it's "cool" to hang out at a municipal building at all hours. Bribery is way down nowadays, and so is journalism, so there's no supply nor demand for lurking in the parking garage all night just to catch a glimpse of a package stuffed with cash changing hands. Most of that stuff is fake internet money now, anyway, like flooz. Where do you even buy a manila envelope these days?

The thing is, political scandal hasn't gone away. Believe me, I'd like to think it is. Whenever I work for The Mayor Hisself, it's easy to overlook the large quantity of favours rendered to himself (and very infrequently, to me) in exchange for some small judgment or gentle steering. Surely his friends would have been just as generous with money, business partnerships, and fresh-off-the-lot Porsches if he did nothing at all for them? Of course they would. That's what makes them true friends and not seedy business associates that I'm around just in case one of them needs to be put back in line.

Now, you might think it's easy to monkey-wrench a homebuilder or someone who owns a used-car dealership. It is, but that's not the point. You have to be subtle about it: it doesn't make re-election look good if The Mayor's somewhat-esteemed childhood maybe-friend gets caught on camera using violence. No, you have to get creative about it. Deniable.

One of my favourite not-confessing-to-anything techniques is what I like to call the "smoke-out." You may remember some articles in the news recently about how Volkswagen got in trouble for making cars that produced too much exhaust. They were just running regular old passenger diesel fuel! The fumes off that stuff won't even make your eyes burn, not like high-test nitromethane being shot out the hood-exit exhaust of a half-fibreglassed Dodge Ramcharger doing donuts on your lawn. Sometimes I didn't even have to do a full spin: they'd be on the phone, tearfully apologizing to The Mayor, just because their wallpaper started to melt!

In my own day, they used to make corrupt business people tougher. A higher class of manufacture. That's why I think today's kids need to get involved. Build a new and even more dirtbaggy semi-organized semi-crime architecture, because these folks are just getting lazy with it.

[bumblesimagines]

Karen Sirko

it was just for fun.

did you tell anyone we hooked up?

i've moved on, and so should you.

Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader

CW/TW: Typical DJATS warnings, mentions of Billy addictions, mentions of drug usage, angst?, sad ending?, suggestive/BRIEF sexual content

Sorry for lack of activity! I got lost in the sauce of Stardew Valley 😔

As much as Karen desired to get hammered and dance the night away, her nerves jittered with anxiety, rendering her uncomfortable and almost irritable as she nursed a beer and remained seated on a couch pushed up against the corner of the room. She desperately wanted to get up and enjoy the party Camilla had so lovingly created in celebration of Warren's birthday but she simply couldn't. Not when he had yet to arrive. 

Long before joining any sort of band, Karen had made a very clear rule for herself: never date a fellow bandmate under any circumstances. She refused to be known as 'the girlfriend' in any band, let alone to the whole world; but of course, nothing could ever go according to plan. Especially after Daisy Jones and (Y/N) (L/N) joined them, filling the spot of the last sixth member and adding 'Daisy Jones and' to their band name. 

The two had been whirlwinds from the get-go if Karen had to be honest. Daisy Jones was a gorgeous girl full of spirit and a stubborn attitude that oft' clashed with Billy but she was sweet and Karen could see the fragility behind her big doe eyes, always at the edge of a cliff just as Billy had once been.

(Y/N) was a handsome young man with a talent for playing bass and a love for mischief, something that had him and Warren gravitating toward each other the second they met (though Karen assumed doing shrooms together fully cemented their friendship). The idea of another guy joining the band unnerved Karen but after watching how (Y/N) handled Daisy, comfortability settled on her bones fairly quickly. 

And that comfortability- annoyingly enough- turned into attraction over the next few weeks, leading to a tipsy make-out by the side of the house where (Y/N)'s hand found its way down her pants. The image of (Y/N) popping his slick, wet fingers into his mouth to clean them while giving her a lazy yet cheeky smirk had imprinted in her mind for days to come, leaving her to mess up during practice when she'd been too busy staring at his hands. She should've taken it as a warning, some sort of sign from God or the universe to leave the hurricane of a man alone, but she ignored it. 

The second time Karen found herself giving in to her attraction, it'd been after Warren invited (Y/N) over while Daisy and Billy battled out their differences elsewhere under Teddy's urging. She'd managed to convince Warren and Graham to give them some time alone under the guise of sending them out to the store for some essentials, allowing for the two to have another make-out on the couch and subsequent hookup in her nearby bedroom. She found herself surprised when she realized she hardly minded the love marks scattered across her skin, noting with flushed cheeks and a racing heart he'd done them in places she could easily hide. 

After the third time, the ever-observant Camila teasingly noted how much Karen seemed to enjoy (Y/N)'s presence. Karen laughed it off and gave her a playful shove but once inside her room and forced alone with her thoughts, the suffocating thought of commitment and the expectations surrounding relationships consumed her. She'd seen how broken Camila had been the day she discovered his infidelities, the hollowness in her typically vibrant eyes when he'd gone off to rehab and left her to temporarily be a single mother. The thought of dealing with that kind of heartbreak and betrayal nauseated her. 

It led to Karen sitting on that damn couch with a cool beer in hand and darting eyes searching for (Y/N) in the crowd. She had to clear things up, even if her late-night contemplation had left her realizing the thought of dating him made her skin tingle with delight. She refused to be anything other than Karen Sirko; not girlfriend, not wife, absolutely nothing other than the keyboardist for Daisy Jones and The Six. Karen had been free for years, free to do whatever she wished and whomever she desired. All her dreams and goals and hopes for the future never included someone else, yet part of her wanted to change that. 

"(Y/N)! My man!" Warren's gleeful voice reached her ears and she stood up from the coach so quickly she nearly stumbled over her shoes. She set her beer aside and walked through the crowd in the living room until she reached the front door, watching Warren and (Y/N) exchange a tight embrace. "Glad you could make it!"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." (Y/N) laughed, a sound so warm and bright it briefly calmed her constricting heart. He handed his gift off to Warren and greeted the Dunne's with an easy-going smile, his attention ultimately falling to her last after patting Eddie's shoulder. 

"We need to talk." She told him, leaning in for a quick embrace before she grasped his wrist and led him further into the house, ensuring they were far from nosy ears and Graham's lingering eyes. The first secluded spot she found was a dimly lit hallway coincidentally leading outside to the very spot they'd first locked lips. She tried forgetting that night.

"What is it?"

"Did you tell anyone we hooked up?" Karen asked him, voice sounding more accusatory than necessary. "Camila... Camila knows something, I guess. I trust her but I don't want the guys to look at me differently."

"I don't kiss and tell." (Y/N) responded, his hands sliding into his pockets and head tilting to the side. "It was just for fun, anyway. Besides, Warren's been begging me to meet his girlfriend's friend for a double date, or something like that. I don't think it'd look good if she knew I hooked up with a bandmate." 

"What?" The word fell from her lips immediately, her eyes widening and her heart squeezing even tighter. Of course, she'd pulled him aside to at least make a half-hearted promise of never doing it again, but hearing he'd been planning on doing the same sucked the air right out of her lungs. 

(Y/N) pursed his lips, only sparing her a sympathetic grimace. "Yeah, I meant to tell you sooner but it slipped my mind. Listen, Karen," He raised his hand and pressed his palm to her cheek, the sympathy on his features making her want to tear her hair out. "You're more talented than the idiots we play with, and I think you're an amazing girl. That said, I've moved on, and so should you. Maybe give Graham a chance? He's got it bad for you." 

Karen remained still as he pressed a fleeting kiss to her forehead and stepped out of the hallway, her eyes blankly staring into the wall before her whilst she tried processing everything that'd been dumped on her in a matter of a couple minutes. In the end, she'd gotten what she wanted in the first place, yet her lips quivered and her eyes flooded with tears she refused to shed.

[venusandsaturnsrings]

same anon as the one that sent the teasing ask omh i didn't think you'd respond aAA!!

please he sounds so pathetic i love him ;__; i'm too weak for him in general and as much as i want to tease the living shit out of this man, i don't think i'd have the heart to do it for too long after seeing this man whine for too long fghGFDFHB LOVE WHAT YOU WROTE.. BIG KISS

okay, but have another thought; so he lives in an apartment, right? imagine being his neighbour. even better if you know about him online and you later realize your neighbour is this nasty loser… or you talked to him about your neighbour online or whatever without either of you realizing you're talking about him. normal people would move out at the speed of light if they really had to but i know the minority that (unfortunately) loves this nasty man (affectionate) would stay <3

hehe my ask box is egregiously full rn but yours struck me right in the coochie!! i had to respond immediately!! sorry to my other 120+ asks, i was overwhelmed by my own lust… i’m givin u a BIG KISS right back!! mwah mwah mwah!! ^u^

correct!! inceltaru lives in an apartment, one that’s fairly nice though he could afford one that’s way nicer or a whole mansion if he wanted to but… he prefers only having as much space as he needs. i think he’s a bit uncomfortable with having too much space; he feels safer in smaller places. something something cozy something something he needs to feel a bit trapped at all times since he has a need for control. he’s a frequent browser of many online forums so the odds that you’ve seen at least one of his posts before is close to a hundred percent. consider this: you post a mini rant somewhere about how much you can’t stand your neighbour and his habit of having noisy gaming/jerk off sessions when you’re trying to sleep. he stumbles across it and quickly links the post back to you, his very next door adorable crush!! he’s immediately shooting you a message sympathizing with your issue and offering an ear to vent it all out to while grinning to himself all about how you have no clue it’s him. is he a bit peeved you’re talking so much shit about him?? yes, but he finds it far too hot that you know about him to be truly upset. the degradation only increases the frequency of his nasty actions to enjoy your equally increased annoyance. it’s a bit of a waiting game for you to find out it’s him but you’ll get it soon with all of the slight reflections of his ginger hair and glasses in the occasional photo he sends you!! inceltaru loves that your unaware and, to a degree, at his mercy <3 it takes a nearly clear photo of his face for you to put two and two together since you’ve only caught glimpses of him on the rare occasion he’s left his own apartment but when you do you’re halfway between cussing him out and breaking your lease. unfortunately, you’ve got a killer deal on rent so in your anger you storm over to his door to confront him on the verge of tears. you feel humiliated knowing he was fully aware and enjoying playing with you like some toy!! he answers the door with a lazy grin, wet hair, no shirt, and only clad in boxers. it would be wise to make fun of him for having what you assume is his monthly shower but you’re rendered speechless at the way he’s eyeing you and opening the door further to let you in. he leers at you upon entry and asks what’s up as if he isn’t fully aware like the asshole he is. suddenly you’re stuck between verbally beating him up or sucking the obvious boner you can see through his grey boxers…

[leoruby-draws]

hello hello hello

i just want to say i love your little drawings so much they're adorable and so full of life and everything feels exciting in them and i love how you draw and make really fun stuff for many of the minor characters, you're doing such a good job with them and it gives me so much joyy

Hi Hi Hi

Thanks for liking my stuff! Happy to bring you joy, drawing these brings me joy!

Also its fun to get into and draw minor characters because their reading lists are super short lol! But I like to give a little love to characters that most people might not know about, in fact here's some random drawings that I had in the back-burner for the past year! Never could find a chance to just post them:

Here's a cute drawing of Cyclone, Maxine Hunkle! Wanted to give her a cute costume makeover. Kinda has a magical girl look to it huh? Took a bit of inspiration from Ojamajo Doremi, but also she's meant to resemble Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz! Both the princess and the witch. I have a bit of idea of what I'm going do with her, but that's for later.

Got a drawing of Gan, Jason's friend from the Knight White books. Not sure if she exist in my Training Wheels au, but I like her a lot. Her rapport with Jason was fun to read.

Here it looks like the Outlaws are trying to recruit new members, from the Relative Heroes group, Damara Sinclaire (Allure) and Tyson Gilford (Blindside). They're not likely to join, preferring to stick with their own group. Just as well since Damara's powers might make things a rather chaotic, she doesn't need that drama in her life lol. Tho I like the thought of Tyson helping out now and then, his invisibility would be pretty useful.

Here's some random assortment of heroes, Ray Terrill the...Ray. Amethyst, tho top pic is uncolored (im lazy) but theres a Sailor Amethyst to make up for that.

There's the first Green Lantern (Alan Scott) with his kids,Jade (Jennifer Lynn Hayden) and Obsidian (Todd James Rice). Wonder why their babies here, de-aging mishap?

Jason and Toni gossip about their fellow teammates, and down below Jason decides to annoy a young Kyle Rayner. A universal constant!

Todd can't help but join in!

Also some cute father-son bonding! I sent this to someone else earlier, so imma just stick here too.

For a really minor character, here's Jay, Eddie and Rose meeting up with a very strange new friend!

And lastly here are the Metal Men, or should I say the mini-Metal Men. Read some comics about them, including a bit of silver age as well (they get destroyed pretty often, kinda funny ngl). I thought about what kinda sidekicks they could have, but I didn't want to look up metals or learn about metallurgy or chemistry or whatever. So I just made them smaller, its just temporary though, aren't they cute? Look at poor Copper, she just wants to join in!

Anyways, hope that wasn't too much, tagging all of this is gonna suck.

Sorry I haven't been posting, due to Tumblr being a pile of shit and trying give our stuff to ai websites. So I thought I would download nightshade and glaze, but that didn't work out at all (I got a new laptop but it still wont render for me at all). So I'm just gonna hope my opt-out in the settings will be enough for now. Sigh!

Hope you like all this anon, might be a while til I post again. Later!

[quinndominion]

Thought I was going to make another rant-y ramble about scene staging, but I figured it out before I finished typing.

Anyway...Terrific fun seeing your scenes come to life exactly the way you envisioned them. Terribly frustrating when it feels like you've forgotten how to do basic stuff, elicit some very basic poses - like, hold your hand out, sir! No, more. Out thataway. Please?

Look, see, like this, Sylvia Marie did it, why can't you? (which, of course, means why can't I...remember how to do such a little thing?)

But this is why I always like to keep SimPE open while playing. (Standard warning, you know what your computer can and can't handle, blah, blah, blah. And if you don't load it first, obviously, and fully load in the game files, you won't be able to do a damn thing with it while the game is using them and you, of course, can't edit cc files that are in use. But if, like me, you've got multiple cc setups and test hoods and wip stuff it comes in handy when you're too lazy to quit the game just to check something.) I double-checked my 'undies ad' posebox and turns out I did, actually, make that overlay. Oops. But, frustration allayed!

Wrong hand, anyway. But that wasn't the point.

Serviceable as is, I guess.

But it looks even more awkward from this angle and that's the one where you can see what he can't see yet as he's looking for his daughter.

Ooh, maybe Adele's prop box, sans prop? I'll check! Too many newer poseboxes, I'm forgetting the virtues of the golden oldies! Otherwise, I have found something that should work but it means exiting and reloading the game. And she may or may not hold her pose on reload.

The positioning itself I can recreate easily enough, but she is well off her lot (get it..."well" *snerk*) and therein lies the hassle. I'd have to learn new tricks (all over again) to make that a simpler process. And, uh, no. I need, literally, 3-5 more pics. Then all I've got to do is finish the write-up and wrestle with the html formatting. So, tomorrow maybe, or more likely the day after since it's Christmas.

Apparently, some things have changed in the past few years, but not DW's post editor - which I hate, love everything else, no plans to shop around for a new home, but hate the tiny post creation window that you can't expand in visual edit mode - you know, the one you need to see, it's in the name - but can drag out in html mode, like being able to see the alphanumeric wall-o-text in a bigger window is at all useful to me! They render all visual line breaks exclusively with code now so even if you space it out to be able to see what you're doing with the html, if you click over to visual mode to see that it looks right and click back, they've smushed it back into one big block of text. Why...oh, why? That's not really the new hassle, but I'm tired of rambling. Suffice it to say that my workaround no longer works straight copy-paste. Even when I remember to add all the extra <br /> breaks. Still have to fiddle with it in their tiny post window where they nevertheless render the pictures full-size so I can only see half of what I'm doing without side-scrolling back and forth. Okay, now rant really over.

How do I know this? Well, I celebrated my bday last Monday by actually posting a chapter. No linky, I'll get to that...eventually, but it's there on my Dreamwidth if you wanna read it. Or you can wait til I'm finished wrangling with the rest of Act One and feel like making proper posts with links and stuff. Doubt anyone's read this far into a ramble post to warrant adding links anyway. 😃😃😃

[dark-drawssss]

do u have that danny and leo pic?? and if u do can u give me the pic? (please im paranoic)

Hii, sorry I took a while to respond I was just.... kinda thinking about how to answer this ask. What I mean by that is that I do still have this image, but I don't like posting things without crediting other people and the person who posted this told me that they don't want to be credited for this (I mainly made the shipping bingo meme for a Discord server, and decided to post it on Tumblr but got too lazy to change the last pic). And the person who made the render well.... they aren't really a good person so that's another reason why I don't really want to post the full image. If anyone wants the image please just DM me for it and I'll share it there (I might take a bit to respond if I'm busy or sleeping but dw I will respond and share the image), it just feels wrong to post an image I haven't made publicly without credit.

[dead-lights]

autumn prom

the teens are doing better! Morgyn and Lorena finally figured out how to make potions of plentiful needs so they’re mostly ok these days, and Lilith maxed out her painting skill and has those traits that make her art sell for more, so they can afford better furniture. They even bought some workout equipment so Lilith can prepare for her next fight with Greg! Caleb's dark form (which is not the same form I gave him as an adult before de-aging him) has taken over his light form and I'm too lazy to change it, but it's fine. Lily finally made up with Caleb and Lilith, and Morgyn successfully asked Caleb to prom.

Things are looking up! There's just one little problem.

Make that two tiny little problems.

turns out there are consequences to full autonomy.

Anyway. Miss Hell was kind enough to invite Morgyn to a pre-prom party she was throwing at their house (without permission). Things got pretty glitchy after that - the game didn't recognize this as an event but a bunch of people, many uninvited, did still show up for the supposed party.

Lorena still has the curse of unwarranted hostility on her, so she was immediately attacked by Samantha Gratz - not even for plasma, just to kick a stranger's ass. too bad Lorena has 3 entire fitness points.

This was, of course, unacceptable. It's incredibly rude to attack a witch in her own home, especially front of her sleeping baby. Morgyn wasn't just going to stand by and let Samantha get away with it, so...

happy prom :)

Lorena got into yet another fight as soon as she got to prom - Darling Walsh this time. Morgyn and Caleb refused to get in the photo booth and refused to dance on the dance floor - they would only dance in front of the photo booth (the game's been pretty glitchy). At least their outfits matched.

Caleb and Lilith were voted prom royalty and prom jester, which was unexpected but fun. Caleb was voted jester for spring prom as well, but i actually had everyone vote for him.

afterwards, they invited a bunch of occult teens to hang out at the pier. Morgyn & Caleb went over to the tunnel of love, Lilith decided it was the best time to learn how to play guitar, and animation issues made Miss Hell inappropriate.

supposedly this is the "scare" interaction.

Miss Hell has been kinda following Lilith around and smiling at her when they're on the same lot... No crush and they're barely acquaintances, but it's kinda funny to me. I do have Miss Hell set as Caleb's master in this so that's an extra level of fun.

The tunnel of love did not go well. I swear Caleb has like zero game in this save. Morgyn is constantly getting various whims about Caleb, but frequently rejects him. I'm trying to be hands-off and am mostly only commanding things like promposals and rabbit holes, but it isn't going great.

I sent Lorena over to hang out with Lily, mostly to keep her away from Caleb & Morgyn. They decided to check out the ferris wheel. by the end of the night...

genuinely not sure if this is a solution or another problem. i guess Lily has a thing for spellcasters.

also gotta love that I had to turn view distance so low that it looks like day. my laptop is uh not as great as the desktop I use for rendering.

heh.

[rui-drawsbox]

hey dude

how did you develop your art style? ive been drawing for years and I cant seem to get a handle on ANYTHING

4 almost 5 days late sorry dude you shot right into my inability to put thoughts into words properly HAHA

alright so first of all, i don't even think a style is something you need to do art. I'm a hobbyist apologist and as long those people enjoy creating it doesn't even have to look "good".

That aside i'm assuming you want to take art at least a little seriously so i'm just going to be straight forward and say that the only way is ping-pong between styles/techniques/themes and just stick with the stuff you feel more comfortable doing.

Now going into my personal experience, that's what you asked after all lolol (from now on this is just yapping so feel free to ignore it)

alr soooo im skipping my first steps into art and going into the humanoid phase. I actually started with sonic! Specifically the show Sonic X, of course i picked up mannerisms from the anime when it was time of doing comedic doodles (and cuestionable taste on fashion)

(im going thru my big inspirations so bear with me here)

2015 came and i discovered my two main inspirations for a long time: fnaf and Ed00chan! (link to her abandoned deviantart so yall can see the style of the time). As i was completely enamored by her anime-yet-cartoony style i was also hyperfixated with fnaf and those two things combined perfectly into (the infamous in the spanish side of the fnaf fandom) fnafhs! bing bang boom there it goes my personality for the next 5 years!

sprinkle a few power puff girls z too why not

anyway at that time i wanted to become a pro like ed00 so i had to understand anatomy, and my go-to channel was Bgm94! But the elders said that to broke the rules you have to understand them, so i just kind-of started doing more "realistic" bodies while maintaining the cartoony-ness i liked so much. Which to be fair, didn't last long before i got bored and jumped straight into cartoon/chibi again

also since we're entering my digital era i'm including some drawings with wild style changes since the experimentation never ends owo9

anyway that was 2018 and before! it was around 2017-18 that i dropped the general tutorials and just started experimenting on my own style/anatomy and trying to improve my skills (im ignoring my sketchbooks bc from now on they just become- well, sketchbooks, instead of doing full drawings i just doodled in classes and leaved the detail for digital stuff)

i would love to include all my 2019 folder bc i consider it was a year full of love for my silly doodles but tumblr has a limit for images HAHA. Hopefully you can see how i go trying out stuff and pick little stuff from every stage with me lolol

2020 hits and you can *see* my hyperfixation with twisted wonderland here, at least my folder is 60% twst drawings i made for my fanfic at the time LOL. Not so many style jumps here tho so let's keep going

2021 and 2022 here! at the second half of 2022 i found my oh so beloved crunchy brush and i also fell hard for Arashi Narukami, so basically my tumblr became an arashi fanpage lol

stuff at 2023 keeps pretty the same until now tbh, the only highlight would be the re-inclusion of noses bc of spiderverse 2. My style also has been pretty well maintained since i started doing commissions so i don't really do so much experimentation anymore, at least not with proportions and such.

alr so that was my journey on artstyle! Of course it's not like you're gonna guess all my process just by looking at the images so i'll say what type of stuff i feel influenced my decisions.

i'm very lazy and for a log time i just abandoned my projects if it prolonged more than a day or two, that obviously made me lean into the cel/plain shading rather than spending hours and maybe days rendering (not that i don't try rendering every now and then but i don't enjoy spending so much time in a single piece)

everyone around me always has been extremely supportive so i had the privilege of dedicating all my soul to drawing silly characters haha, i feel like since i never felt the need of comparing myself to others i could actually experiment so unapologetically with my style until i was satisfied

finding an actual brush that i like is always crucial to me tbh, even in traditional i'm pretty picky with how the ink and type of pen i'm using. Of course, i also tried multiple traditional art techniques (watercolor, acrylics, crayons, pencils, pastels, my favorite are pen+markers)

i dont like feets. that shows until today.

in general i think an artstyle is something extremely personal that every person has to shape themselves and that it can't really be a permanent thing, it's gonna fluctuate with the artist whenever they like it or not.

[alitgblog]

speculating what the s8 islanders will look like as an excuse to draw lol idk why im not going in order here's the sports physiologist

ok so obviously my art style is a bit simpler than the game's and I didn't take a ton of time to render it but I think the elements are there and here's my reasoning (warning this is long lol)

the disclaimer is I read the application once and then started drawing so I think in my head I got it confused and thought this was gonna be the Bobby/Rafael cutesy fun guy of the season and rereading it now I realize I am wrong, but I still stand by certain choices.

Sports physio/cycling thing was a big thing for this. I think he shouldn't have very defined abs but the game will draw him like that. Cyclers tend to have skinnier torsos but bigger thighs/legs and I didn't draw the legs bc I'm lazy but know that in my head, he's got thick thighs. I didn't draw him with like a huge chest or arms also because of that, but because it's still LITG, he does have some definition on his arms, just not a lot. I really think I could see this guy working in sports physio.

And because he takes care of people for a living and is the "big romantic," I think he needs to look very charming, to a point where he's almost disarming. (This is where I got it in my head that he's the Bobby/Raf of the group bc lover boy vibes. Personality wise he feels like Rohan imo who is similar). Therefore I drew a lot of his features as very soft (softer jawline, fleshier nose) but also just big round eyes to draw you in. I looked at Tyrique from love island season 10 for a bit of inspo because I think he's got such a pretty face but still is pretty masculine, and he has big round eyes so that's why I did that.

I also decided on curly hair, in part because of my confusion with Bobby/Rafael, but also I think it adds to the charm because it's clearly styled but tries to look effortless. I used a younger picture of Dev Patel for it. That's also why he has a little bit of facial hair to help age him up but also works with the aesthetic I was going for. The piercings are fully a self indulgent add-in, I just it's attractive.

Ok so this is where it gets confusing because I did intially draw some sharper features on him and had a different color palette for his skin and hair. I was imagining him as "spicy white" just because Bobby and Raf are mixed so they would change it up just slightly for this guy. I think nothing that's too contrasting to make him look brooding like Joyo. So initially this was definitively a tanned white guy with curly reddish brown hair, some facial hair, and a defined nose, and then I was like this is really close to Rocco. So I changed some features and some colors and here we are now at ethnically ambiguous? I'm not gonna think too hard about the ethnicity of this character because this is fake and it's fusebox's problem when they release the real character.

Looking back, if I redrew the character, I'd go for full or half South Asian just because I did use dev patel as a hair reference. But also maybe just hopeful because aside from Angie, the other South Asian rep in recent memory I can think of is Marshall (messy), Ozzy (messier), and Suresh (messiest), so I just think we should get a cute one. (also Priya, Rohan, and Arjun who aren't nearly as bad but only one of those is a LI and they're sort of dead right now so)

anyway overall the process of drawing him was kind of a mess because I had confused some things in my head and like I said, was accidentally drawing Rocco (underrated design btw) but this was the first one I did and I don't think I'm right, this is just a fun little activity for me and he's the first one I drew so I wasn't very sure about a lot of things.

so if you read this far congrats for getting though my ramblings. The next ones I'm doing aren't nearly as complicated 😂😂

[clarafyer]

This is gonna be a long vent post so uh yeah

Cw: Detailed description of a shutdown/meltdown

So a few hours ago during the last period of school I had a big shutdown that turned into a meltdown the second the dean asked "Are you done with your work?" (I do my English mainly in the dean's office since she helps 504 kids and my classmates are horrible in English)

Our last unit of the year is a podcast unit. I finally finished the first recording assignment the other day, one that was like 2 weeks late but only a few days late with my 200% time accommodation, and now I have one thing to do. One thing out of all of my classes at the moment. It's another podcast, and is normally due tomorrow. We've had 2 weeks so far to work on it and I haven't even finished the planning sheet because EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THE FUCKING DOCUMENT I JUST SHUT DOWN AND SIT THERE FOR THE ENTIRE HOUR.

The past few days, it's made me cry silently and unmoving in my seat. The dean didn't notice until today, and the shut down turned into a melt down right when she didn't even ask if I was okay, she asked if I finished my work. I was hyperventilating and trying my best to be as quiet as I could as to not be a burden upon the rest of the front office area. I wanted to punch the chromebook, to scream at the top of my lungs, to tear my hair out. But no, I just sat there hyperventilating and sniffling, hunched over the table, apologizing for no reason.

Well, I was apologizing for being a loud mess and not listening to her on how I could write the introduction because naming Princess Diana's charities in the very introduction would be way too obvious (the podcast is Imagined Life, you go through the life of a celebrity, describing it in the second person and only revealing who it is at the end)

I still have the same straight As that I've had all year, but if I don't finish this fucking unit that I hate so much, then my English grade is gonna drop so low because each podcast project is almost 100 points each and is put into the test category on Skyward (tests are worth 30-something% of the full grade.) I don't want to do this unit, I hate it so much and I can't muster up anything to progress on it.

When she would tell me to type it up, I could barely even do the function, I wasn't able to do any of the tasks I had to do the entire period. All I could do was just reach my hand out to the keyboard and then just pull it right back to my face.

I felt so fucking guilty and ashamed for not doing anything, I know I was rendered useless and had to cope and get away from the problem, but I felt like I couldn't do that, I couldn't do that, otherwise I'd be lazy and stubborn and a cry-baby and just having a big temper tantrum.

I remember it so vividly and I think that was one of the worst I've ever had.

I hate this

I hate being like this

I hate masking

I hate unmasking too

What went wrong this year? I thought I was doing great, only a few late assignments before I got my 504, so few meltdowns compared to the last few years, I finally started figuring out why my brain is how it is

Oh

That was where it went wrong. I started advocating for an autism diagnosis and when I got evaluated by the school, they said I missed the communication category and legally didn't qualify for autism-related accommodations. Sure, they said I still was totally likely to be medically diagnosed positive, but all the doubt, all the questioning, all the impostor syndrome, all of EVERYTHING is where this year went wrong.

I don't want to write anymore so if you read all of this, thank you. I don't care if anyone interacts or not, but I really needed to vent and connect with the rest of the autistic community. I can't wait for this school year to be over.